Murder, They Guessed

My parents and I saw Agatha Christie’s “Spider Web” at the Alley Theater last night. All three of us are obsessed with murder mysteries, which makes us a) overconfident but dangerously accurate amateur detectives, and b) horrible, horrible audience members.

[Warning: Spoilers below.]

Everyone else in our section: “I can’t wait to find out who the murderer is!”

My mom: “ALRIGHT, PEOPLE. THIS IS WHAT WE’VE BEEN TRAINING FOR.”

Me: “BRING IT.”

My dad: “MISS PEAKE HAS TO BE THE ONE WHO MOVED COSTELLO’S BODY.”

My mom: “COSTELLO IS THE MISSING LINK IN SELLON’S NARCOTIC RING.”

Me: “PIPPA IS PRACTICING WITCHCRAFT BUT DIDN’T ACTUALLY KILL ANYONE. WHICH MEANS…”

My dad: “WARRENDER MURDERED COSTELLO TO PREVENT HIM FROM STEALING THE RARE STAMP HIDDEN IN THE SECRET DRAWER OF THE ANTIQUE DESK.”

My mom: “BAM.”

Me: “CASE CLOSED.”

Everyone else in our section: “Goddamnit.”

One thought on “Murder, They Guessed

  1. This is the exact same sort of behavior that makes my Mom want to kill the Farmer and me whenever we watch mystery-thrillers. If Farmer and I haven’t figured out the mystery about halfway through then we’re not doing our jobs! But she doesn’t see it that way, for some reason.

    I actually read an Anne Perry mystery yesterday — hadn’t read a mystery novel in months — and I had all but one twist figured out about 60% through. But that one last twist I didn’t get at all until the author wanted me to, so I really appreciated that! Hahaha.

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