But My Friends Call Me Pumpkinhead Moontime

[A conversation between myself and my Misfits brother Space Cowboy (which is the honest-to-Gods name on his club vest; I am not making that up).]

SC: “The father of one of the girls in my kid’s class just sent out an email to let everyone know that his daughter won’t be attending school for a few days, because she got her first period.”

Me: “Huh. She certainly won’t spend the rest of her academic career trying unsuccessfully to live that one down.”

SC: “Well, luckily, he only sent it to the teacher and the other parents.”

Me: “So as long as none of the parents tell their children, she’s in the clear.”

SC: “Yup.”

Me: “Otherwise, she’ll be Bloody Mary until she goes to college out of state.”

SC: “…”

Me: “Or burns down the prom with her telekinetic powers.”

SC: “That’s awful, dude.”

Me: “Yeah. I’m a little ashamed at how quickly I came up with ‘Bloody Mary.'”

SC: “Bully.”

Me: “I’m only a bully because of my own insecurities. I started my period in the 4th grade, too.”

SC: “Wow.”

Me: “Too soon?”

SC: “I’m going to call you ‘Red Tide’ from here on out.”

Me: “I prefer ‘Rags’.”

SC: “Red Tide Rags!

Me: “Uh-oh. You just got way too excited.”

SC: “That’s your Misfits nickname.”

Me: “Um… that sounds like a vengeful ghost from Appalachian folklore.”

SC: “Even better!

And that’s how Misfit Red Tide Rags officially made his debut. I do have to say I’m not 100% thrilled about going down in Houston Leather History as the guy named after uterine discharge, but considering that other Misfit nicknames include “Twinkle Bear” and “Honey Biscuit Dancing Queen,” I probably got off easy.

3 thoughts on “But My Friends Call Me Pumpkinhead Moontime

  1. I was 10 when I got my period. My mother was so informative. She gave me a Kotex and two safety pins. That’s it. After a few days I said “I’ll be glad when this is over”. She said “Oh, you’ll do that for the rest of your life.” “WHYYYYYYYYYY?” *no answer*

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