The Few, The Proud, The One Percent

[An email exchange between myself and a homeowner at a high-end townhome community in one of Houston’s wealthiest neighborhoods. I swear I am not making this up.]

Me: [to the entire community] “Your waste management provider delivered recycling bins to your neighborhood this morning.  Recycling service will start this Friday.”

Him: “I am not interested in this. What should I do with the container that is at my home?”

Me: “If you don’t want to participate in recycling, I’ll contact your provider and find out when they can collect your bin. “

Him: “Please have them take the container away. Or, if they would like, I will throw it in a dumpster.”

I should probably point out that I edited his responses. For the sake of brevity, I cut out the part where he told me how much nicer his other home is.

Oh, and his yacht. His yacht’s apparently a big step up from this dump.

Really wish I’d thought to encourage him to recycle the recycling bin. Maybe use it as a planter or something. I assume he would’ve found that just as hilarious as I do.

3 thoughts on “The Few, The Proud, The One Percent

  1. Tell him to stay home between 10AM and 2PM and a city employee will come by to beat him severely and dispose of his body in the recycling bin.

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