This is not what I meant by hanging out with a buddy

[An online conversation between me and my oversexed friend Angelo, the only other known gay dudebro in captivity.]

Me: “Shit. I picked the wrong day to go commando.”

Angelo: “Dude! I went commando today, too!” [sends wildly inappropriate picture]

Me: “That is… okay, that’s actually pretty impressive. But what happened to me is that I just somehow accidentally ripped a giant hole in the crotch of my jeans.”

Angelo: “That’s HOT, dude!”

Me: “Not at the office it’s not. I’m going home to change.”

Angelo: “Dude. WHY?”

Me: “Because I can’t sit across from my 60-year-old female boss and be all, ‘What testicle?'”

Angelo: “Dude, if I were a 60-year-old lady sitting across from you and staring at your testicle, my mouth would be watering, dude.”

Me: “…”

Angelo: “Um… there was a compliment in there. Somewhere.”

Me: “…”

Angelo: “Dude?”

Me: “I am putting on so much underwear right now.”

2 thoughts on “This is not what I meant by hanging out with a buddy

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