Hint: The Answer is Never ‘A’

Dear Homeowner,

Before I can process your Home Improvement Request to build a pergola and install a hot tub on your property, I’m going to need you to complete the following statement:

“I, [your name here], am requesting permission to build a pergola and install a hot tub on my property, because…

A. “I want a pergola and a hot tub.”

B. “I don’t actually want a pergola or a hot tub, but I think the whole Home Improvement Request thing is stupid and am trying to make a point.”

C. “My neighbors have a pergola but not a hot tub, and it’s important that they understand how much better I am than they are.”

D. “I already built the pergola and installed the hot tub without submitting a request form, and I kind of need you not to know that.”

E. “I’ve just never really cared for you.”

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