Also, I’ll Be Paying in Unbaptized Babies

Salesgirl: “May I help you?”

Me: “Yes! I’d like to purchase this item, but I can’t afford it today. So if anyone else asks about it before I come back, I need you to tell them it’s cursed.”

Salesgirl: ” Um… we also offer layaway?”

I don’t think this chick understands how customer service works. I may have to take my business elsewhere.

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